The snow is slowly coming down. I just spent my first Thanksgiving alone.
Holidays seem to be a time of reflection and sometimes a season of triggers. What are triggers? Unhealed wounds. Often when we do not have the tools or awareness to process challenges or conflicts, we push down, ignore, suppress, distract or deny the issues. Wounds are unresolved emotions. Emotions like grief, fear, anger, confusion and rage show up to let us know something needs to be acknowledged. If we do not know how to acknowledge these emotions, we tend to by pass the emotions. These emotions can get trapped or stuck in the body. When something shows up that reminds us of these dismissed emotions, we feel a trigger. Triggers can be the result of big experiences or tiny very subtle experiences. Triggers are information. They do not have to be bad or wrong. Triggers can be neutral, just information. Like when the gas light pops on in your car, it is just information you are running low on fuel. My 2023 has felt like a year of continual triggers. Looking back, I can now see, all these triggers have started to get comfortable. Maybe comfortable is not the right word, maybe awareness is better word. All these triggers have helped me become aware there are layers of pain that are calling forth my attention. Yes, the triggers can feel uncomfortable, but they no longer hold power of me. I am no longer afraid of my triggers. I have discovered, whatever the trigger, I have the tools to process it. Yes, it can be messy. Yes, I can have a dysregulated nervous system. Yes, I can spiral out. Yes, I can over react. But the difference is, now I know it is apart of the process. I know the emotional reaction is not permanent. I am now aware this response is temporary. These reactions are trapped emotions wishing to be released and set free. I had never considered triggers are a gift. A gift for me. My inner child did not have tools or confidence to handle many of my emotions. My now self has the tools and the resources. I can hold space for these triggers - unhealed wounds - I can honor them. When I see and honor my unhealed wounds, I start to heal me from the inside. My triggers are my job. No one can fix or heal my wounds. I step deeper into my power when I am vulnerable with myself. No hiding, no distractions, no suppressing, no denial, and no blaming. My emotions, are my responsibility. 2023 Thanksgiving I spent alone. It was empowering and also had moments of sadness. Society tells us these holidays are a time to be with friends and family. A time to give and receive love. If we are alone, what does that mean? Or if we go to a gathering, but feel alone what does that mean? I sit here and reflect. I feel proud of how comfortable I am getting at sitting with my different emotions. I feel proud of myself that I no longer feel an urgency to get to the end of the experience. I like not having the answers. I feel a sense of liberation. Not knowing and not having the answers gives me so much open space. Embracing the unknown. Becoming friends with the unknown. It reminds me of a quote from Bashar, change is the only constant. Today I am grateful for triggers. Today I am grateful for my inner abilities to see and honor all of my pieces. This Thanksgiving week has been a gift.
0 Comments
|
AuthorSabrina Brightstar had her multidimensional awakening in 2010. She shares her story of awakening and her experiences of expanding her consciousness. ArchivesCategories |